ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I was born and brought up in the Vale of Evesham, in the heart of England. As the youngest of four children (I have three older brothers) I was some what spoiled particularly by my father. However, as the youngest I spent my childhood striving to keep up with my siblings and this nurtured a very competitive spirit within me.

In consequence at school this spirit drove me forward and I became a high achiever gaining straight A grades at both O and A level. I was also very fortunate in that I was athletic. To begin with I was a fine swimmer and tennis player reaching county standard in both but when the swimming started to wane I transferred my efforts into canoeing. The village in which I lived had its own canoe club and the opportunities were there for the taking. My canoeing career spanned almost 20 years and I represented my country at four World Championships with my best result being 12 th place. Sadly I don’t canoe anymore, except recreationally, but in order to satisfy my competitiveness I still play tennis two or three times a week.

During all these years in competitive sport I continued with my academic studies. I attended the University of Birmingham reading Biochemistry and was awarded a 1 st Class honours degree followed by my PhD. I also gained two scholarships and received the RT Jones Prize which is awarded to a first year undergraduate who is outstanding in scholarship, personality and contribution to the life of the University as a whole. After University I spent the next 12 years doing medical research mainly looking at mutant strains of Hepatitis B. Again I was very successful as demonstrated by the 15 papers published during that time.

Since 1980 I have been supported my husband who is himself a canoeing Olympian and who now joins me on the tennis courts. We have two children aged 13 and 10 and we live in a rural area just outside Lichfield to the north of Birmingham.

It was after the birth of my second child that I started to have mental health problems. Firstly I was diagnosed with post natal depression but this soon turned into clinical depression and in 2000 I suffered what you would call a “nervous breakdown”. At the time the children were young and demanding plus I was commuting everyday to Nottingham to carry out my research. Eventually something had to give and it was me. I was “sectioned” under the Mental Health Act and detained in hospital for many weeks.

The road to recovery has been a bumpy one but my illness is now well managed with drugs and psychological backup. My research work has been curtailed but I am still employed in a hospital environment and I get a lot of job satisfaction from helping others. Recently I have started to give back to the system from which I have taken so much by sharing the poetry in this book with other people, particularly with those whose lives are touched by mental illness. I hope that what I have done will enlighten and inspire you the reader in the future.

The take home message is one of hope in that for all sufferers of mental illness there is always the possibility of recovery. Of course this may involve taking medication and altering one’s perspective of life but eventually a way forward will be found. The poems I have written illustrate how recovery has happened for me and I would like to think that by writing down my experiences I may help others overcome their problems too.

Introduction

Just a short message

Before you start to read

The poems at the beginning

Are very disturbing indeed

They are about mental illness

Of which I have first hand experience

Some require a strong stomach

And may touch your conscience

But the rest are purely for entertainment

I hope they make you smile

They are mostly true to my life

So dwell on them a while

It may therefore be better

To start reading from the back

I trust you will digest my scribbling

And give me any feedback

Let me give you a single thought

If I were to have my time again

Even with my ups and downs

I would live it just the same

Mental Illness

If you break your arm

Or you are in a diseased state

Then other people rally round

Because they are able to associate

But if you have a mental illness

This is more difficult to explain

People don’t understand

And they can’t comprehend your pain

There is nothing to be seen

The problem is locked up in your head

And others shy away

Or just ignore you instead

We need to break down these barriers

And address this subject that’s taboo

Because mental illness

Could one day even strike you

Leveller

Mental illness is a great leveller

It hits the rich and the poor alike

You can’t predict who will be next

It is indiscriminate about who it strikes

The tramp sitting in the doorway

Or the millionaire in his mansion high

They both could be victims

And you may question why?

It is because anyone can have a faulty brain

Where the right signals aren’t getting through

And nobody is to blame for this

There is nothing you can do

I pray that you never become mentally ill yourself

But if you should then I can tell where to find

The help and support of other sufferers

Who are now further down the line

A Statement

I want to write something profound

A statement that will lift you off the ground

I will say it all in verse

From a point where you can observe

“Having mental health problems

Doesn’t mean you are condemned

Just as with any other illness

People do recover, they do get through this

If you suffer or are the one who cares

Then you should be made aware

That the path to normality may be long

But in the end you come out strong

All the introspection that is involved

For the problem to be resolved

Requires you to dig in deep

And find the energy to make recovery complete

Exactly how to do this is difficult to explain

But please remember YOU come back the same”